That video clip featuring Ira Glass was the last thing I wrote. Or so it seemed. The message was meant to inspire but it had exactly the opposite effect on me. "Keep plugging away. Be a Warrior," it said but I got a little lost.
My then-current WIP was out on submissions. I had two fulls and a request for an exclusive full, which I couldn't fulfill until the other two agents got back. One did so rather quickly with a 'no' and the other languished in no-man's land. I didn't do much better. I didn't start anything new even though I had intentions to do so. I stopped reading my writing blogs. I didn't beta for anyone. And I didn't write. At all.
I quilted. i redecorated a bathroom. I mothered. I celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and finally Valentine's day and still, I didn't write.
I felt zapped and overwhelmed. I felt defeated. At some point I nudged the agent that still held my full and got nothing. It had been too long to hold out hope, so I considered it a 'no'. I could have sent the full to the agent asking for an exclusive, but I didn't. I just did nothing. Why?
Honestly, I think I just needed to assess what was important. i loved writing but when I write, I lose myself in the story. it eats up all of my extra time and some time that isn't extra. I needed balance.
Here's the sunshine in all the doom and gloom. I think I've found some balance. I am writing again. I try to write a little every day but the majority of my writing is done on Tuesdays and Thursdays when my youngest is at preschool. If I don't write much on the other days, I let that be okay. I still have a life outside of writing. I enjoy my family time without looking longingly at the laptop. Maybe to some that sounds like I've lost my fire, but I think the opposite is true.
Before, I burned bright and fast and went out just as quickly. Now, I hope to sustain a long glowing fire indefinitely, sustained, not distracted by my family and life outside of writing.
Balance, people. It has saved me from myself.
What works for you? How do you keep your writing fire burning bright?